If I were unemployed...

If I were unemployed...
I could listen to my phonographs in the morning in the parlor every damned day.
My house might get cleaned all at once. Maybe.
I would definitely be more on top of things. I mean, wouldn't I?
My dogs would be super happy because I would be home all of the time.
If I were unemployed...
I would miss my friends at work and lose interest in leaving the house. What would be the point?
I would have time to volunteer, but be disinclined to do so because I disagree with one small part of the organization's charter, or because the volunteer coordinator doesn't like me, or because the day is the same day as my husband's day off.
I would cook more things from scratch.
If I were unemployed...
I would feel guilty about buying things for myself because I wouldn't be contributing to the household in any measurable way. Then I would resent the other people in my household because they don't deny themselves things.
I would go to the gym at least three times a week, and to the library at least four times a week.
If I were unemployed...
I would not be able to afford the gym.
...
I guess I'll just keep my job.